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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154597">Indentation In The Shape Of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillifall/pseuds/stillifall'>stillifall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Buck gets a tattoo, Family Feels, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, oblivious!buck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:55:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,646</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillifall/pseuds/stillifall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn’t surprised though, that right after quarantine, Buck wanted to do get a tattoo. If anything, he was surprised it took him a week to do so. Still, when Buck told him what he was going to get tattooed, his heart melted.</p>
<p>“I just- it’s not weird right? I just really love the flowers and Christopher drew them for me and-”</p>
<p>“I think it’ll look good,” Eddie reassured, buttoning up his uniform, his heart going a mile a minute.</p>
<p>OR Buck goes to get a tattoo and Eddie is there and the artist assumes they are together. Then so do their friends. Buck is oblivious. Eddie is in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>736</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Indentation In The Shape Of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You know what pairs well with this fanfic? 'I like it when you love me' by Oh wonder. With that said, I hope yall enjoyed the finale, continue to take care, and review!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When quarantine was over, the first thing that Buck and Eddie did was see Christopher. There was an itch that had followed them as quarantine was extended, things that both of them missed so much and so closely that it had become a part of them,engraved in their hearts. For the kid’s health, it was better for them to stay at Buck’s and wait it out. They had to keep working, so Eddie decided it wouldn’t be safe for Christopher to deal with so much exposure to the outside. And well, Buck offered him to stay at his apartment. (Which was a whole other story but-)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now though, Buck was driving them to Abuela's house, an air of excitement as they got closer and closer. The familiar views only made Buck grip the steering wheel tighter, and it took everything in him to not just press the gas a little more. Eddie kept looking outside, but by the bounce of his knee, Buck knew Eddie was also dying to reunite with his son. Buck had barely turned off the car when Eddie was already opening the door and jumping out, his eyes sparkling as he set sights on the front door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Daddy!” Eddie grinned when he heard Christopher’s voice, rushing to his side. He dropped to his knees and hugged the boy so tight, Christopher’s giggles filling the air. Eddie could only savor the hug, trying to memorize how it felt. The feeling of his fingers in the size S cotton t shirt, how Christopher’s hair was longer and it reached below his ears. He memorized how small the boy felt against him, how he could protect him just by putting his body between him and the world. His heart beat a little slower, calmer. He treasured the contact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky!” Eddie opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them in the first place. He let Christopher go, his arms already wanting to pull him back because god he had missed his son</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Superman!” Buck grinned, picking up  Christopher and pulling him close. Eddie couldn’t tell if it was him or his son laughing, nonetheless it was clear Buck had missed the kid as much as he did. When Buck finally put Christopher down, Eddie couldn’t help but notice his eyes looked watery, tears threatening to spill on the corner of his eyes. It made Eddie’s heart ache, (the kind of ache one feels when there’s something so good and pure in the middle of chaos.) </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have something for you, and you Bucky!” Christopher said, exchanging a glance with abuela. She only smiled softly before letting Christopher in and motioning the two men to follow him after exchanging a hug with both of them. (If she stayed back to thank Buck for keeping Eddie safe, Eddie pretended to not hear.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking to the house felt unfamiliar, like a forgotten memory. Smells he didn’t know he missed, and decorations he didn’t know he associated with the house came to view. It was weird. It was hard. He didn’t know how much he missed it until he was able to breathe again at the sight of it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Staying with Buck was nice. Every time he had begun to miss something he pushed it aside, focused on what he did have. He had Buck. Yet Buck seemed to know what he needed, whether that was a good workout to distract him, a call with Christopher to bring him as close home as he could for the moment, or a movie to pretend that this was just another normal night in. Buck knew what to do that he forgot to focus on that ache when he tried to remember what life was like when he wasn’t staying with Buck.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Christopher came out of his room with two pieces of paper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We missed Father’s day,” he began, and then handed one of the pieces of paper to Eddie, “so I drew you something!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie’s drawing was sweet, a drawing of him as a firefighter, saying how he is his hero. It was drawn in crayon, messy strokes around his figure. There was a fingerprint of chocolate, and a little bit of glitter over the letters. Immediately, Eddie thought about how sweet and thoughtful Christopher was, his heart warming as he continued to look at the drawing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank mijo, it's beautiful.” Christopher perked up. Then he turned to Buck, holding the paper tightly before handing it to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s for you,” Buck widened his eyes as he took the paper. Eddie shot Christopher a smile, not paying attention to how Abuela was in the background shaking her head. Of course Christopher would have drawn something for Buck, for father’s day nonetheless, Buck was part of the family. Once again, Eddie could see how Buck’s eyes turned from soft to downright teary. He glanced between the paper and Christopher until he finally leaned down and pressed a kiss on the kid’s forehead, and pulled in for a hug. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you buddie,” he whispered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie caught a look of Buck’s gift, unlike his drawing, Buck’s drawing only had two colors. Black and yellow. They were flowers. They looked beautiful. Complex in its overwhelming simplicity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck pulled away, ruffling Christopher’s hair in the process. He looked at the drawing, staring at it. Eddie felt something pull at his heartstrings, the longer he looked at Buck, the more he was sure that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the cause of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the day went by, Christopher, Buck and Eddie spending the day together telling each other what they missed, what they did, and the things they learned. Eddie was proud to hear that Christopher picked up new hobbies and that his Spanish improved while staying with his abuela. Buck was delighted to tell Christopher that Eddie could now cook more than just a sandwich without burning the house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After exchanging countless goodbyes and hugs with abuela, they all went home. Buck was driving, Christopher fast asleep in the back of his car. Eddie looked around, Buck was humming and Christopher snoring and he felt complete. In the nine pm twilight sky, Eddie realized that these two people made up his entire world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they got to Eddie’s house, it felt like they had pressed play to a paused game. Eddie carried his son to his room while Buck followed. However, this time Buck didn’t drive back to his apartment. Instead he stayed at home with them, crashing on one side of Eddie’s bed like it was second nature; (Eddie had claimed the right side of Buck’s bed back at his apartment, the couch can only be so comfortable for a number of nights. After a week, Buck insisted that he come share the bed, if only to avoid dying on his couch via back pain.) Eddie didn’t even bother to offer him comfortable clothes, knowing that Buck would already be grabbing some sweatpants from his closet. Buck fell asleep first, he always did, and Eddie stayed up for a bit more,  trying to capture this engulfing feeling of familiarity. It felt so normal, after quarantine, to continue to spend time together because Buck was his family. And now that they had Christopher it didn’t feel like it had to change, rather it felt better. Their puzzle was complete. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie doubted that this was just friendship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But before he could go down a rabbit hole on what exactly it meant, he fell asleep, smiling when he turned to his side and saw Buck fast asleep, one hand holding a folded piece of paper that said ‘to bucky’ in sharpie marker</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>When Buck decided to get a tattoo Eddie’s only concern was if it was going to affect him at work. He knew that it would make whatever place he would choose to be tender and soft and well, with the amount of calls they’ve been getting lately, he didn’t want Buck to not be at his best. He wasn’t surprised though, that right after quarantine, Buck wanted to do it. If anything, he was surprised it took him a week to do so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, when Buck told him </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was going to get tattooed, his heart melted. They were in the locker room getting ready for the shift. He took out a folded piece of paper out of his jacket and as soon as he had it all opened up, Eddie recognized it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just- it’s not weird right? I just really love the flowers and Christopher drew them for me and-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’ll look good,” Eddie reassured, buttoning up his uniform. Buck grinned at him, finishing tying up his shoes. Then he carefully tucked in the piece of paper back in his jacket. After patting it, he turned to Eddie, one hand on the back of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you come with me?” Buck asked, his voice soft and hesitant. Eddie only placed a hand on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if that was a tint of red on Buck’s cheeks, or if he was just making up colors now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” At that, Buck lit up, making Eddie’s heart do the now-normal flips and turns. He had gotten used to that; if quarantining was good for something it was to think about what exactly all of those heart flips and short breaths and quick heart beats meant only to lead to the conclusion that you might have feelings for your best friend and in turn, how to make sure they didn’t find out</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When is your appointment?” Buck answered as they both walked up to meet the rest of the crew. They met with the rest, Buck asking Chimney when he could go visit his sister and how she was doing before proceeding to do the same with Bobby.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Two weeks later, Eddie found himself holding Buck’s jacket as the man took off his shirt. Eddie tried to look away, only for his eyes to glance back over and try to capture and memorize Buck’s body. He knew that Buck was getting a tattoo, he just didn’t know it would be by his rib and that it would consist of him taking off his shirt. By the look that the artist was giving, Eddie knew it wasn’t just him appreciating the view.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Eddie could you pass me my jacket?” Eddie shook his head, blush forming in his cheeks as soon as he realized he was staring. He cleared his throat and handed the jacket. Buck tried to find the pocket and after a minute, he finally spotted it and took out the piece of paper. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here,” he handed it to the artist who looked at it and nodded. The design was fairly simple, so Eddie knew there was zero chance of her messing it up. She smiled as she started to put gloves on and set her equipment on the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So do you just like sunflowers or?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck smiled as he laid down, his hands nervously fidgeting on his side. Eddie only sat down next to him, his eyes watching the needle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Father’s day gift.” The girl only smiled, her eyes glancing at him and Eddie. Eddie suddenly tensed up, realizing the implications. His skin began to flush red. He looked down at Buck, but the man was staring at the ceiling, not a care in the world. Eddie only cleared his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How old is he?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christopher? He is nine. He is an amazing kid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie knew the girl was aware of his blush spreading form his cheeks to his ears, and yet hearing Buck speak so fondly of his son-</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Shit I didn’t remember it hurting this much,” Buck hissed, his hand clenching onto a fist on his side. Eddie reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. Buck only clung to it like it was his lifeline. The girl looked over and shot Eddie a look,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got him, you can continue.” She nodded in response and continued to work on him, the picture of the flowers slowly fading into existence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you guys are very close then,” she said, amusement in her voice as she shot a smirk at Eddie. Buck squeezed his hand, his eyes shut tight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah of course, that’s why I asked him to come,” Buck answered in a heartbeat, his face forming a scowl as she continued to work on it. Eddie only widened his eyes, wondering if Buck was really that oblivious to what she was referring. (He also wondered why he didn’t bother to correct her.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good to hear. I’m happy for both of you,” she chipped in, and the time, Buck only raised an eyebrow and shot Eddie a questioning look. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, so now Buck is picking up the vibes.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Eddie only shot him a smile and shook his head, deciding that the lingering looks the man was giving him were not worth a confession in a tattoo parlor</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay so we are almost done. I got all the black ink and now I’m going to work on the color. It's just yellow so it shouldn’t be too long. Do you want to take a break, get some water or?” She offered, stepping away and putting her tool down. Eddie noted that Buck was still holding his hands, fingers intertwined. His hands were so warm against him, he wondered if Buck thought so too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get some water,” he was about to stand up when the lady shook her head, motioning him to stay down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get it,” she turned to Eddie, “try to get him to stay still” she added, her eyes moving to Buck’s bouncing leg. Eddie shot her a thumbs up. Buck sighed once she was out of sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it looking good?” He asked, trying to catch a look for the tattoo. Eddie smiled, his thumb drawing circles on Buck’s hand, too aware of his actions and how soft his skin was. Buck held on tighter</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s looking good.” </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>When Buck went back to the station, he held a proud grin on his face. There was a lightness as he walked in, head held high, and Eddie only shook his head at the man's antics. Buck carefully changed into his uniform, Eddie noticing the bandage covering his tattoo. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So how was everyone’s weekend?” Buck chimed in as he sat down at the dinner table, Bobby serving the new pasta dish he learnt. Hen only shrugged while Chimney began to tell him about a new show that he had begun watching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what about you buckaroo, what made you smile like that?” Hen asked, her eyes sparkling as everyone shifted their attention towards Buck. That was exactly what Buck wanted. Eddie got nervous for a second, trying to anticipate how their friends were going to react to the tattoo, to the meaning of it. It was reasonable right? (It wasn’t, Eddie knew that, but he didn’t want to accept the responsibility of Buck unknowingly having feelings.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got a tattoo.” Hen perked up at that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you get?” Bobby only shot him a look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And where?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry Cap, I’m taking good care of it!” He turned to Hen, “and I got this drawing that Christopher gave me for father’s day. It’s some flowers!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hen and Chimney looked at each other, and right after, Eddie felt everyone’s eyes land on him. He looked up, eyes meeting Buck’s eyes, jaw tense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It looked good when the artist was working on it,” Eddie muttered, offering only that to the rest of the team. Hen only chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you went with him?” He could hear Chimney mutter ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>dumbasses</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ under his breath. Eddie nodded. Buck only stepped right next to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup, held my hand and everything,” Buck approached him, grabbing his hand and intertwined his fingers with his, showing it to everyone, “ right Diaz?” he added with a grin. Eddie could only blush, eyes darting from Hen to Chimney to Bobby. He felt his heart race, and while holding Buck’s hand felt good, it also felt like holding a scarlet letter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck was a dumbass and Eddie wished, he wished he wasn’t as oblivious. He must know, right? Eddie needed it to stop, if only so his heart could stop aching when Buck would stop holding his hand, and so his brain would stop going a mile per hour, hyper fixating on Buck. It was hard to convince himself that this meant nothing (nothing past friendship anyway) when Buck was giving him everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby must have been able to read him, an understanding smile going his way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s the drawing look like?” He asked, and Buck was now dropping his hand, rushing to get his phone out and show Bobby a picture.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>It was late at night when Buck approached him. They had been working a late shift, and 5 coffee cups later, the only thing Eddie wanted was to go home and bury himself in his blankets. Buck’s footsteps were quiet and hesitant, an obvious attempt at not waking up the rest from their nap. Eddie only looked up from his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Want coffee?” He whispered. Buck shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, I uh- I was wondering if you’d help me?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, taking another sip from his coffee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to clean my tattoo and it looks gross-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you want </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do it? You just said it looks gross,” Eddie replied with an amused, tired smile. Buck only let out a huff, grabbing his mug and taking a sip. Eddie only widened his eyes, trying to focus on anything but the fact that Buck just casually shared a drink with him. (He remembered his abuela saying something along the lines of only married couples shared a glass. He pushed it away.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I know. But it’s different. Just imagine we are on call and you gotta do this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you imagine that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because it’s my body so I can’t just-” Buck only groaned, “look please man? It’s super easy.” Eddie chuckled, standing up and putting his coffee mug away. He rubbed his eyes before letting out a defeated sigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lead the way Buck.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They reached the locker room, where Buck took out some ointment. Then they headed to the back of the ambulance, where they could wash the tattoo. Buck took off his shirt, discarding it to his side as he turned towards Eddie. Once again, Eddie did not consider the possibility that Buck would be shirtless (of course he would), had he known he would have definitely pretended he got a call from Carla. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie carefully peeled away the plastic that was wrapping his tattoo, the redness making itself vibrantly clear. Carefully, with a wet piece of cloth, he began to wash Buck’s tattoo. Soap and water spilling down his ribs, droplets falling onto his pants. Eddie pretended to not follow the drops of water that made its way down on his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced up, if only to make sure that he wasn’t hurting Buck, only to find the man already looking at him. At 11pm, soft blue light from the old firehouse shouldn’t look romantic, or revealing. But it's like Buck didn’t care, the light managing to highlight his smile, his eyes, the intoxicating way his body looked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a gulp, Eddie decided it was safer to look at the gross, red tattoo on his ribs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pass me the ointment,” he stuttered, this time not daring to look up. Buck hummed in response, his hand finding the small bottle and passing it to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for doing this,” Buck whispered. Eddie only nodded in response and god- this really shouldn’t feel intimate. But the way he was softly caressing his skin, and the way Buck just trusted him, fully, knowing that Eddie was not going to hurt him. It chipped away at Eddie’s heart, and one day he was sure it was going to fall right onto Buck’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So that was- funny, right?” Eddie asked, his voice coming out more insecure than he would have liked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was?” Eddie looked at Buck, and he really needed to know if this man was as dense as he was making out to be or if he just wanted to spare his feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The tattoo artist thought we were together. And before, so did Hen and Chimney. That’s funny, right?” He said, though nothing in tone seemed like he was laughing. Buck only let out a nervous chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Together? Why would they think that?” Eddie rolled his eyes, standing up and washing the ointment from his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe the holding hands,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Friends do that,” Buck replied in a heartbeat. Eddie raised an eyebrow, “we are close!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or that you got my son’s drawing tattooed on your body, making both of us his-” He saw the moment it clicked on Buck’s mind, his mouth letting a small ‘oh’. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed there, silent in the back of the ambulance for what seemed an eternity. Eddie didn’t push for more, and Buck seemed too far gone in his head to even bring him back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, that’s funny.” He finally replied, no amusement in his voice. He stood up, thanking him once again, and walked away, t-shirt hanging from his fingertips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Underneath the blue light from the firehouse, Eddie sat, confused about what conclusion Buck had reached, if any. He sat, head hung low, wondering if Buck had even realized that Eddie was waiting for him to reach one.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Buck had been so used to sleeping next to Eddie Diaz that now that he had the bed by himself, it felt wrong. Their shifts had been so wildly different that it made sense that Buck would have to go back to his apartment. He leased it for a reason, but now this seemed so oddly different that Buck couldn't help and feel the heaviness of it. The empty right side seemed to want to suck him in, leaving a void where Eddie's warm body used to be. The calm breaths were now replaced by loud silence, so blatant and </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span> that it made Buck want to turn away and hide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He missed sleeping next to Eddie, the thought caused a pang of ache to go from his heart to his chest to the pit of his stomach. He had the instinct to cover his wound, his hands uselessly on his chest, over his heart, as if trying to keep this emotion from overflowing. He wished he could claw away at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was just the tattoo bothering him. Buck sat up, looking over at his side, once again reminding himself that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eddie is not here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Another pang of ache. He took a deep breath, trying to find a trace of his tattoo in the darkness. When his eyes finally adjusted, he was able to make out the shape of the flowers. By now he had the pattern memorized, could draw it in a heartbeat, trace it in his sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled, his fingers hovering right above it. It felt less lonely, seeing the tattoo was proof that he wasn’t. That there was a kid out there who loved him (like a father, his brain tried to butt in. Buck waved it away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then everything Eddie had said back on the ambulance came rushing back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s funny right?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, it wasn’t fucking funny. Everything he said had made Buck reconsider why exactly he felt so attached to the Diaz family. Christopher? He loved the boy, and he couldn't justify it in a weak excuse of ‘I like kids’. He knew he never felt this strongly towards any of his coworkers kids, yet with Christopher? That kid saved him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Eddie? Eddie was his best friend. His partner in crime. His- Buck groaned, hands finding themselves on his face, trying to cover his frustration. Even in an empty room, his thoughts seem to take up every nook and cranny they could find</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie couldn’t mean more than just a friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their lives were already so interlaced together, string and string all wrapped up in each other, that if you tried pulling it apart, it would no doubt form a knot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet here he was, sitting on his bed, his tattoo burning because Eddie Diaz had touched him there, so gently and softly and then had looked at him with those eyes and Buck couldn’t do anything but allow himself to get lost in him. He had always been the person ready to give out his love, to wear his heart on his sleeve-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Eddie he didn’t even realize he had been doing it until Eddie told him so. And what was that supposed to mean? Did Eddie not want it? Was it too much? Was Eddie hinting that he did want it? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck grabbed his phone, a notification telling him he had one more hour before his alarm would ring. With a defeated sigh he stood up. His thoughts were not going to leave him alone, and neither were the feelings that were now bubbling up and trying to burst out in every part of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s funny, right?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, it wasn’t funny to fall in love. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>When the tattoo healed, the first thing that Buck wanted to do was show it to the artist himself. Christopher. He jumped on his Jeep and drove first thing in the morning to the Diaz household. He turned the radio on, humming to the songs. The traffic lights and LA traffic wanting and failing to change his mood, and when he finally arrived, he smiled. It was warm, he noted as he got out from his car, sunlight having him squint his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was about to open the door when the knot in his stomach returned. Eddie. God he would have to see Eddie, would have to brace for the overwhelming rush of emotions as soon as he saw the tattoo. There was a half second when he considered turning back, just sending a picture and telling Eddie to show the boy. He could do that. That seemed more… platonic. Less intimate. Though by now, Eddie and Buck were everything but.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door opened and Buck opened his eyes. Eddie tilted his head, his lips curling into a smirk. His hair was still messy, soft curls showing where he had been sleeping. There was an urge to run his hands through it, curl himself against him, get the rest he wished he had gotten the other night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I heard you park. Are you just going to stand there?” Buck only chuckled, letting himself in, the door closing behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Christopher-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky!” Buck’s eyes lit up as Christopher walked down the hallway, meeting him for a hug once he was close enough. He was still wearing his pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here? Are we going out today?” The boy asked, shooting his father a confused look, as if betrayed that he hadn’t been told they had any plans for the day. Buck shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I just wanted to show you something.” Christopher only stood back. He gave Buck the same questioning look Eddie would shoot him during calls when Buck would suggest a risky rescue. Like father like son. The thought brought comfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck raised his shirt, enough so the tattoo would be visible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Christopher let out a gasp, and if he turned to see Eddie, he would see the man blushing, his eyes trying and failing to watch only his son.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my drawing!” Christopher exclaimed, a grin on his face. Buck laughed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! Isn’t it cool!?” Christopher nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I touch it?” Buck nodded. Christopher touched the petals, his fingers drawing over the image, mimicking how he had drawn it the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like it,” Christopher added, pulling away, his seal of approval in his smile. Buck looked towards Eddie, who had his arms crossed, now leaning on the kitchen counter, his eyes glued on them. He had a soft smile and god now that Buck </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> exactly what he wanted, it was impossible to look at him and pretend otherwise. He rolled his shirt back down, eyes not leaving Eddie’s. There was a lump in his throat, his heart threatening to jump out and run into Eddie's arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Christopher, how about you go get cleaned up and start doing your homework? That way we can go get ice cream later,” Eddie said after a minute, an unspoken agreement that there was suddenly something that had to be talked about. The boy nodded, walking towards his room, the shuffling of notebooks and pencils following soon after.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Buck walked towards Eddie, a magnetic-like pull bringing him right next to his side. Eddie glanced at the covered tattoo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like it too,” Eddie pointed at it, voice soft and strong and Buck couldn't help but take the compliment to heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t think it’s too much?” He asked, lowering his voice. Eddie chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ask that after you get it?” Buck rolled his eyes, nerves calming a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think it's too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you are chill with it?” Eddie rolled his eyes now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s your body Buck, if you want it then yeah I’m chill with it.” This time, Buck stepped forward, the blurred line of friendship erasing and becoming more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant,” Buck answered. Eddie only looked away and then back, his arms uncrossing and now by his side. His shoulder tensed, pulled back, trying to make himself look bigger. Buck had to tell himself to breathe, try to predict what came next. Trying to picture that this was Eddie, his friend and not Eddie, the man who he was hopelessly in love with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you mean then?” Because Eddie needed clear answers before putting his heart out there, before showing him his cards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know, to get a tattoo, the skin is pierced between 50 and 3,000 times a minute by a tattoo machine, Buck paused, a nervous chuckle escaping him when Eddie raised an eyebrow, “and honestly? That’s how I feel when I'm with you. My heart beats between 50 and 3,000 times a minute. Just because you are there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie had a loving look on his face, watching with interest as Buck went from his normal color to red. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You better not have gotten that tattoo just so you could tell me you like me, Buck.” Buck shook his head, laughter escaping him, heart skipping a beat as Eddie grabbed his hand, fingers curling against his. Suddenly, it felt easier. Lighter. He figured maybe this is what love was. Uncomplicated. Like golden daylight instead of a burning sunset. The bubbling feeling that was haunting him day and night since the realization had stopped, soothing itself at the touch of Eddie's hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, of course not. I just- I realized I want us-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want us too,” Eddie cut him off, squeezing his hand in response. Buck smiled, the knot is his stomach disappearing. Instead, there was Eddie’s hand in his, a smile like his own and eyes sparkling with the same love that Buck knew he was showing too. And god, that smile could have made Buck melt if not for the fact that Eddie was holding steady, a lifeline that led home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And really? If Buck had to bet, he would say that this was it for him. Eddie Diaz made him fall in love and find a family and a home. Eddie Diaz made his heart skip like there was an ongoing siren going on inside his mind. The way their hands felt so perfect together, soft and stable and strong, made Buck believe that maybe they were always meant to get here. He wanted to ask, when did you like me, how did it feel for you,  does Christopher know, what comes next, but one look at Eddie's face made him pause. He didn't need answers. Not now anyway, maybe another day, when they were tired and feelings could spill as easily as they came. For now, Buck was happy resting his forehead against Eddie, hands together because they were a team, on and off duty. Eddie was about to kiss him, lips hovering right in front of his, a hand on his cheek, when they heard Christopher behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that mean that Buck is going to live with us again?” Buck chuckled, Eddie let go of his hand briefly to ruffle Christopher’s hair. The trio now standing together, the soft morning light washing over them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not polite to eavesdrop on adult conversations. But yeah, if Buck wants.” He glanced at Buck, his eyes offering him a way out. He didn’t want to push, didn’t want to scare him by asking too much too soon. He was allowing himself to be vulnerable, open. He was giving a part of himself, expecting Buck to decline. Buck, however, always jumped head first. Eddie Diaz was not an exception.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>They went to get ice cream that day, and after talking with Christopher about what it meant, they realized not much would be changing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, when Buck claimed a side of Eddie's bed, he felt home. He turned on his side, watching how Eddie was putting on a tank top, the piece of fabric barely covering his chest. Buck felt his cheeks straining, his smile had not faded since that morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie turned around, yawning, half opened eyes glancing towards his figure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Find anything you like Evan?" He teased, laying down, his hair becoming a tangle of curls as it splayed on the pillow. Buck reached to hold his hand, the familiar tingle coming back as their fingers brushed together. Buck smiled, closing his eyes and scooting closer, calm breaths and calm mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now I have."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading! It was honestly not supposed to be this long but oh well! Anyway, tell me what you thought ^^ Follow me on tumblr @911inspo</p></blockquote></div></div>
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